Automotive

FOREVER FU-KING MOTORS: AN UPDATE. – Rants

FOREVER FU-KING MOTORS: AN UPDATE. – Rants


By Peter M. DeLorenzo

Detroit. A call at 3:00 a.m. doesn’t often bode well. It’s either some unexpected – and unwanted – bad news, or it’s a wrong number. Either way, it’s usually Not Good. But my early Monday morning call was something else altogether – it was none other than Mr. James “Jimmy” Fu and Mr. S. L. “Sonny” King on speaker. I figured out it was those two right away because of the Asian pop music on “11” in the background, which was almost drowning them out. (But as you know, they actually prefer that, because yelling is their prime mode of communicating.)

We quickly switched to a Zoom call where I could see an array of dancing models awash in LED lights throbbing in the background, which admittedly was oddly comforting at this point, because if they ever felt the need to tone it down the world would become an even darker place. More on this later.

I previously updated AE readers about Fu-King Motors, and before that in the memorable AE interview with “Al Cantara.” And though our longtime AE readers are probably very familiar with Jimmy and Sonny by now, we do have a lot of new readers, so I thought it might be a good time to provide some background about the dynamic duo.

Mr. James “Jimmy” Fu and Mr. S. L. “Sonny” King have operated in the shadows of the gigantic Chinese industrial machine for years. But that hasn’t stopped these two flamboyant and remarkable characters from becoming legends in and out of China. Mr. Fu started manufacturing model cars and trucks in the late 70s. In fact, many of the model cars our readers played with in their youth probably came from Mr. Fu. And 50 years later, I have pieced together and confirmed that he controls every toymaking concern in China through a labyrinthian network of mom-and-pop factories and several other large conglomerates that he lords over. Mr. King became partners with Mr. Fu after initially supplying the elaborately detailed wheels and uncannily accurate tires on Mr. Fu’s model cars. Though the two have had knock-down, drag-out disagreements almost from the very beginning – always with the yelling – the two have been partners in Fu-King Motors – and best friends – for going on more than five decades now.

I first got to know Mr. Fu and Mr. King after they approached me at the Los Angeles Auto Show years ago. Apparently, they had stumbled upon Autoextremist.com after they first became familiar with the Internet, and they regaled me with the fact that they both learned English by having my ‘Rants’ columns translated for them. When I first met them, it turned into an uproarious encounter as they blurted out some of my patented phrases that they had learned phonetically, like ‘notgonnahappen.com’ ‘halle-frickin’-luja,’ and ‘the Answer to the Question that Absolutely No One is Asking.’ (How they learned that last one remains a mystery to me.)

Mr. Fu and Mr. King have remained in close contact with me ever since. As I’ve gotten to know Jimmy and Sonny, their frenetic pace and boundless energy never cease to amaze me. The Zoom calls I receive at 3:00 a.m. my time are usually booze-filled stream-of-consciousness rants by Jimmy with Sonny yelling things over his shoulder, accompanied by stylish model types dancing to disco music in the background at their secretive Shanghai lair. And their appetites appear to be even more boundless. In fact, Jimmy is still fond of aspiring female pop stars, while Sonny is a very generous sponsor of a female gymnastic academy.

Fast American muscle cars are overflowing in their underground garage, which is an enthusiast’s cornucopia of greatest hits. Jimmy was happy to provide me with an update of their Fu-King Motors fleet. They sold off their three Purple Dodge Demons (each modified to deliver 1000HP) to one of their best, long-term suppliers (whose son promptly wrapped one around a light pole; and the two daughters lent them to their boyfriends to drive, who – shocker – totaled both of them). The two original “narrow-hipped” 427 street Cobras have been reduced to one, and the matching ‘68 L88 Corvettes were sold. The Corvette C8s they acquired (one black, one white) are long gone. Jimmy gave his black one to his administrative assistant, and Sonny gave his white one to his latest girlfriend. No worries, Jimmy pointed out, because they each have added a Z06 to their fleet (Jimmy’s is Black; Sonny had his wrapped in AE Purple). I’m happy to report that their favorite hot rods (and our readers’ favorites, judging by the mail we’ve received), the twin custom-built, 60s Willys Gasser replicas powered by race-prepared Chevy 502 big-blocks remain. These ultimate bad-ass machines – with open headers – are reserved for terrorizing the neighbors in the middle of the night. (Jimmy and Sunny were corralled recently by the authorities for going 150-mph in a 55-mph zone, but after much discussion and a substantial contribution to the police “fund” they returned home with their licenses intact.)

Their fondness for Knob Creek Kentucky Straight Bourbon gave way to Basil Hayden’s Kentucky Straight Bourbon several years ago, but they have moved on to Heaven Hill Heritage Collection 18-Year-Old Bourbon, which goes for $300 a bottle (where they discover these new bourbons is puzzling to say the least). But they reminded me that they still order cases of champagne by the week because, as Sonny said, “the girls like it.” And, of course, they still absolutely love their twin Gulfstream G650s (Jimmy’s is Jet Black with dayglo orange stripes; Sonny’s is Chaparral White with Midnight Blue stripes).

But the main reason for the call, which they got to about 20 minutes in, was that Jimmy and Sonny wanted to give me an update on the Fu-King Motors future product cadence. The fact that they used the word “cadence” was a bit shocking, but Sonny said that was because they liked the way I use the word in my columns, so they use it all the time. “It’s all about Cadence! Cadence! Cadence!” Jimmy shouted, while they each banged the table in unison. So, after sorting through the yelling and trying to piece together the details in between the disco-pop blaring in the background, we finally wrapped up the call at 4:30 a.m. I was exhausted, but I never get tired of hearing from Jimmy and Sonny. In fact, they want me to come for an extended visit, but I told them I would have to have my affairs in order before I would even consider it. I mean, really.

So, as best as I can tell, the timeline for what Fu-King Motors has coming has been pushed back considerably. In fact, it has been completely blown-up. “Was it the chip crisis?” I asked. “Supply chain issues?” And they both chimed in, “No, it was the champagne… and the girls!”

2025: To quote Sonny: “Forget 2024, it is over.” “What is coming in 2025?” I asked. “Press conferences!” they said in unison. “Dog and Monkey shows!” Seems logical, at this juncture. “We dangle the bait and flip the switch!” I could have pointed out a few linguistic disconnects at this point, but I didn’t bother.

2026: The long-awaited debut of the six-wheeled, all-electric Fu-King Gargantuan SUV has been, not surprisingly, cancelled. The Gargantuan was designed to humiliate the all-electric GMC Hummer EV and “anything else on the horizon” according to Jimmy. The Gargantuan flaunted some incredible numbers: 2000HP; 10,000 lbs. and with retractable electric step ladders (“not steps, ladders,” Jimmy insists) and “a look that was designed to humiliate all that other crap out there,” added Sonny. When I asked about the price, Jimmy and Sonny answered in unison what they had told me before: “Enough to make grown men cry!” But alas, the Gargantuan is no more and in a rare – and shocking – moment of introspection, Jimmy admitted that it was “wrong for the times.” What? Was this the Jimmy I know? But there was more to it, apparently.

2026 (4th Quarter): Another much anticipated debut is The Fu-King Motors KickBoxer. The boys’ answer to the Jeep Wrangler 392 and new Ford Bronco with “unequaled” off-road performance. Boasting a carbon-fiber unibody and a kaleidoscope of different versions, including a pickup and one cryptically referred to as the “RumRunner Edition” (“It can conceal forty gallons of Bourbon!” Sonny chimed in), the KickBoxer will be powered by an all-aluminum, now 3.0-liter, fuel-injected, Twin-Turbo, flat eight-cylinder motor that delivers 800HP. When asked if this could possibly be construed as overkill, Sonny quickly replied: “We would like to introduce our competitors to custom cans of Whup-Ass!” This machine, as hard as it is to believe, is still in the works.

2027 (3rd Quarter): The all-electric semi-truck that looks eerily like the Bison advanced long-haul trucking concept that GM Styling created for the 1964 World’s Fair is a definite “go” for late in the 3rd Quarter of ‘27. When I was shown photos of the concept, I thought they had resurrected the designers who did the original Bison – it looks so close to the original (see below). But this truck will be a hydrogen fuel cell-powered electric heavy truck with a range of “900+ miles,” according to Sonny. The name? “Convoy.” (Jimmy and Sonny are huge fans of the original “Smokey and The Bandit” movie and the whole C.B. radio era in the U.S. (“We just watched it again last Saturday night,” Sonny added.)

FOREVER FU-KING MOTORS: AN UPDATE. – Rants

(GM)
The Bison heavy truck concept from GM Styling was designed for the 1964 World’s Fair in New York.

2028: The development of the Fu-King Motors supercar that has been fraught with problems from the beginning, has been cancelled. With Jimmy and Sonny constantly at each other’s throats over the direction of the concept, it’s no surprise that it exists only in their minds at this point. Oh hell, let’s just call it for what it is: a giant Black Hole of Vaporware. The toll it has taken on Jimmy and Sonny is obvious, as whenever I mention it their usual exuberant dispositions turn decidedly dark.

First envisioned as a high-performance, hydrogen fuel cell-powered electric hypercar, the machine – code named “Bandini” (which I came up with) – had been reimagined as a BEV aimed squarely at Gordon Murray’s T.50 with 1+1 seating and a curb weight of 1900 lbs. But now that Porsche and Rimac Automobili formed a new joint venture called Bugatti Rimac to build a future hypercar, Jimmy and Sonny are apoplectic. “Porsche and Remulac!” Jimmy pounded on the table. (I pointed out that it was Rimac, not Remulac, to no avail.) “This is nothing but a German-Croatian nightmare! As you like to say, it’s notgonnahappen dot fricking com!” The subject brought Jimmy and Sunny to a rare moment of silence, although the stereo was still cranking LOUD (this time with “Jump Around” by House of Pain).

Then Sonny pitched in: “We need you to give us direction! No Zoom either! We need you here! We’ll have a third Willys built just for you! Any color you want!” Now, that was tempting.

When I asked about products beyond 2027, the boys just shrugged and happily chimed in again in unison, “It’s a ‘giant we’ll see’ as you like to say!” After some coaxing, the boys admitted that they had reached consensus on a much more realistic version of their hypercar, still with 1 + 1 seating but with a more believable target weight of 2800 lbs. and a much more realistic price point of $60,000. I was shocked. Were my favorite wild boys softening? “Nah,” Sonny said. “We just want to see this project come to life, or, as you say, fruition.” At this point they both shouted “Fruition, Fruition, Fruition!” in unison before dissolving into cackling laughter. And the name of this double-secret – and more realistic – hypercar? The Fu-King Flyer. These guys are magic…

I closed the exuberant session by asking if they had any plans to import their products to the U.S., the answer was once again a resounding, “Never!” Asked why, they answered again in unison, “Too much bullshit, too much aggravation, too many rules.”

At that point all I could say was, “I concur.” And I hope they never change.

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

 


Editor’s Note: Click on “Next 1 Entries” at the bottom of this page to see previous issues. – WG



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